An Essential Skill:
Developing rapport is of utmost importance and an essential part of every relationship. Without rapport, you would basically not have a good relationship at all.
I would love to give you subtle tips or say some basic methods to build rapport. Imagine you talking to a sweet small child. You might crouch down to the child’s level and talk to him in a sweet and soft manner. That’s called matching.
You can adjust your body postures as a full or part of your body to match the other. You can copy cat his facial expressions or you can match his sitting style. To learn more you can from now on start observing two people who are in perfect rapport with each other and engaged in deep conversations. Matching should be done in a subtle manner not making the other person aware of what you are doing.
You can also match the person’s rate of breathing, whether they are breathing through chest, abdomen or stomach or how fast, slow or deep is there breathing. This technique will take little time and more practice as you have to first observe the person carefully before doing it. And, hey be careful when you are matching a person who has breathing problem, there you can opt for some other techniques.
Matching with the person’s voice is also one of a very good technique. You can match with his/her tonality, the speed, the style of pitch or the style of words that he/she is using while speaking. This needs more practice, practice and practice. Try watching a TV program in a foreign language in order to notice these auditory processing distinctions. You don’t have to try to match all these aspects. Choose one. If a person is talking slowly, slow down. If they speak softly, drop your volume.
Authentically trying to understand another person’s beliefs and values without judgment can create a very deep rapport. Once again, you do not have to agree with them or change any of your own values; but the main aim or the goal is to understand the other person’s mind map he is carrying according to his past experiences or environment he has been brought up in.
Matching language patterns is an all-time favorite NLP rapport technique with sales and marketing people generally do. By using the same words to describe things and processes, the person feels understood.
Listen for their power words. We’ve often learned to paraphrase what someone says rather than use the same words. We call it active listening. This is mistake when it comes to NLP rapport. We attach particular words to corresponding experiences.
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